What the Heck am I Doing?

To be honest, I don’t really know. I’m not really talking about blogging in particular, although I’m definitely clueless about that. I’ve never even read a blog, actually. Part of me wants to so I can maybe get some tips on how to successfully do it, but I feel like I want to make something my own. I always push myself way too hard to do things successfully, but I kind of just want to start doing things for the heck of it without really worrying about what other people think or whether it’s going to turn out good or not. But, when I asked what the heck I am doing, what I am referring to is my life in general.

Ever since high school I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Then I got into college and realized that there is actually a lot of stuff I want to do. Unfortunately, I can’t do all this stuff at the same time, although that certainly didn’t stop me from trying to do so in other aspects of my life. I am trying to do a billion different things at once (yeah, I guess that is slightly exaggerated) but all of it just sounds so fun. Well, half of it sounds fun and the other half I am forcing myself to do out of a sense of responsibility and commitment and all that boring stuff. Why didn’t anybody tell me it was going to be this freaking hard to balance stuff you had to do with stuff you wanted to do?

This is kind of what creates this whole “college crisis”. I realize I’m certainly not the only person to experience this sort of thing by a long shot and I’m not really here to give some sage advice. No one would probably listen to me anyway and just call me young, naïve, and a millennial who just spends their time eating tide pods. I’m here for one reason and one reason only: myself. I want to get my ideas out on the page rather than spending a fortune on a therapist. I want to do some writing that doesn’t give me any pressure to actually please anybody except for myself. Yes, I do understand that I could just write this in a notebook and not share it with anybody if this were solely the case, but I figured I might as well make it public. Perhaps someone out there will find some enjoyment in it.